TED TALK WITH UNCLE TED · 7 September 2026
I am pregnant after having affairs on the road
A long-distance truck driver asks how to convince her stay-at-home husband that another man’s baby is his.
Dear Uncle Ted,
Dear Uncle Ted,
I am a long-distance truck driver. I opened a shop for my jobless husband, who stays at home with our daughter. I have had a few affairs on the road because a woman has needs and curious young boys are always all over.
But the worst has happened and I am pregnant.
My Catholic faith does not allow me to abort; that would be immoral! How can I convince my husband that this baby is his?
Uncle Ted replies
Truphosa, I frankly don’t see what you are worried about. Male truck drivers have been banging anything that moves since the days of Kariakor—the Carrier Corps.
They each have 39 illegitimate scruffy kids foraging in small market centres from Mariakani to Kisangani. Your husband would be out of his mind to fuss merely because you made one baby.
You took a bullet for the girl child, so take a bow! In any case—and here I speak for the menfolk—we are never quite sure whether the babies we collect from the maternity ward when our wives go to push are ours.
Your hubby probably wonders whether your daughter is actually his, so another “suspicious-looking” baby won’t hurt, unless the bugger pops out with the irritating hairdo and manners of Donald Trump.