TED TALK WITH UNCLE TED · 7 September 2026
My stinking hubby suddenly started bathing twice a day—is he cheating?
Rosemary’s habitually unwashed husband has abruptly bought toiletries and clean underwear, making her suspicious.
Dear Uncle Ted,
Dear Uncle Ted,
My husband’s breath stinks and his socks pong so much that I force him to wash his feet with lemon before entering the house.
He can even go for three days without bathing and, if I don’t buy him boxers, he will shamelessly walk around wearing smelly, dirty rags.
But two weeks ago, he suddenly bought mouthwash, deodorant spray, new underwear and socks and started bathing twice a day. Is he cheating on me?
Uncle Ted replies
Rosemary, it is possible that the Lord found time off His busy schedule and ordered your hubby to stop walking around smelling like a garbage dump.
There is also a possibility that his workmates got fed up and told him to his face that his stench was suffocating everyone, including the office rat.
But I don’t think he is cheating on you because a woman would have to be bonkers—like you—to be seduced into sleeping with rotting garbage. He is probably just crazy about a mama who puked the moment he got within a ten-metre range, hence the makeover.
Well, if you want to keep your man, order him to go back to his filthy ways. Better the skunk you know.